My Dark Social Heart

This time of year, beyond "The Holidays" is all about retrospection, introspection, and prognostication. We look back at the year in books, music, and movies... we think about the place we're at, and we make predictions about our not too distant future.

As I do the Annual Think, I'm trying to figure out where to place my chips before rolling the dice on 2010.

I have mentioned my dislike of the new-fangled social networking. This persists. I recently culled my Facebook "friend" list down to under 30 people, and I plan on fully removing myself from the site by year's end. Before I do that, though, I need to collect as many of my actual friends' mailing addresses as I can.

Because in 2010, I want to push my casual correspondence to post.

We are supposed to be "keeping in touch" with each other via Facebook (I thought about saying "sites like Facebook", but frankly, it's the only one on the block at this point). I don't feel in touch, though... spending time on that site is akin to driving by a coffee shop and peering in to see if someone you know is there, but not stopping the car to get out and talk.

I understand that people have different opinions on this, that's fine. For me, though, this is unappealing and unrewarding. If I think back to the last time that correspondence was fulfilling, it would be when I was writing old-fashioned letters.

I am guilty of relying too heavily on the Internet to reach people. More than ever, people are unreachable. The voices are too many. We are equal parts voyeur and exhibitionist. It's off-putting to say the least.

The rise of Facebook has paralleled the fall of meaningful contact on the Web. Again this is my opinion, you may disagree. But since this is something that I feel personally upset by, it doesn't really matter. I've been hemming and hawing over this yet I have still been taking part in it. If this seems a bit hypocritical, that's because it is. I don't like it one bit.

E-mail is perfectly acceptable, but it doesn't compare to actual mail in terms of being fun to receive. Frankly, I don't think I have much to say that would be enhanced by the quickness of email over "snail mail."

Perhaps this is because I've never been a fan of small talk. I'm not a chit-chatter. I joined Facebook to acquire a promotional tool for my audio label, publishing projects, and design work, but it just doesn't work that way, not for me. I have around 80 "fans" of Sidedown on Facebook, but only one or two of those "fans" participate in the site, whether that means listening to podcasts, commenting on posts, or purchasing products. This is a failed endeavor in several ways... the number of fans does not grow, and those fans are inactive.

Inactivity. I don't like it! Why be a part of something you don't want to be a part of? It's silly.

I'm trying to focus on making social contact on a local scale, and I want to keep in touch with a select few friends from around the globe. Those faraway folks can be reached via the post office, and if they want to write back, that'd be great. There are a few people who I talk to via e-mail, and I'll continue doing that. There are even fewer friends who show up on AIM, and I'll keep talking to them there. E-mail and chats are good for coordinating projects and doing business. But really, I think the more interesting things to discuss will be done on paper, ink, and toner.

Just like with buying physical albums versus downloading tracks (something I've been amazingly consistent with this year!) the anticipation of receiving physical mail is a part of life that I miss and want to bring back.

So, I've got 15 days to grab peoples' mailing addresses before the Facebook situation is gone and done, and I give thoughtful, personal correspondence another go.